Fate Has Other Plans
by neshy
Summary: A night neither wants to remember. A mistake neither can forget. A girl walks into the Great Hall. Two professors see her and look to the other in recognition. So much for a break. “I know you’re my parents.” *A D/Hr story unlike any other*Harmony*AU*
1. Chapter 1

1**Fate Has Other Plans**

A night neither wants to remember. A mistake neither can forget.

A girl walks into the Great Hall. Two professors see her and look to the other in recognition. So much for a break. "I know you're my parents." *A D/Hr story unlike any other*Non-romantic pairing*

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! I wish I did, but I don't. *Cry* If I did own Harry Potter, however, things would be different, like Sirius's death (wouldn't happen) and the R/Hr and H/G ships. Again, I do not own Harry Potter, so those things aren't getting fixed. But that's why there's fanfiction!**

**Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: I do not own fanfiction (dot) net, harrypotterfanfiction, or any other fanfiction website.**

The elderly Professor Flitwick ushered the tiny First Years to the front of the now silent Great Hall. They stood clustered around a three-legged stool with a ratty old hat on top. The Sorting hat ripped its brim and sang its usual song before the wizened Deputy Headmaster started to call names. The group shrunk as the four House tables filled their empty spaces with the newly-Sorted students. Eventually, the last of the students was Sorted, and Headmistress McGonagall stood to deliver her speech.

"New students, welcome. To the returning students, welcome back to another year at Hogwarts. As always, the Forbidden Forest is forbidden to all students. The list of the five-hundred-thirty-six banned objects is, as always, posted on the door of Mr. Filch's office.

"There are many changes in staffing this year. Mr. Longbottom has finished up his apprenticeship and will be teaching the Herbology classes-" Neville stood, blushed and took a small bow as people clapped. "Also, I'd like to welcome Mr. Weasley as our new Care of Magical Creatures professor-" Charlie waved, and students and teachers clapped again. Veronica and Henry were especially loud. "Mr. Potter as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor-" The noise in the Great Hall was deafening as Harry Potter was announced the new DADA teacher. He gave a quick wave and let McGonagall continue. "Mrs. Weas-I mean, Ms. Granger is taking over as the new Transfiguration professor-" The clapping was also very loud, but there were whispers as to what McGonagall's slip was about. "And Mr. Malfoy as our new Potions professor." There were claps and cheers, seeing his return to the Light during the War, but the Slytherins were still the loudest.

"With all that out of the way, tuck in!" The food appeared and the chatter resumed. Claire was quickly catching up with the other Ravenclaws, but most of her conversation was with Brittany and Jonathan, her two best friends. Up at the Professor's table, the conversation was also strong.

"So, Hermione, what was with that introduction?" Neville asked.

"Ron and I got a divorce," she said plainly.

"Holy . . . I heard you were having problems, but a divorce?" he pressed.

"It was necessary. I didn't love him like that anymore, and he was loving one of his chasers, so we're good."

"He didn't tell me that!" Charlie said. Hermione bit her lip and looked up. Harry had to turn away. "We all spent the summer hating you, and-"

"I think we should stop pressing Hermione about the inner workings of her divorce," Minerva said. "At least in the open. So, Neville, how was your summer?"

"Luna and I are having another baby."

"Congratulations," Flitwick said. "Little Frank will be a big brother."

"I can't believe he's five already," Hermione said. "Speaking of children, how's Teddy, Harry?"

"He hardly classifies as a child, Hermione. He's seventeen. And he's moody as hell. Teenage boys . . . " Harry shook his head. "Was I that bad?"

"Yes!" Hermione and Neville said, with McGonagall nodding. "But you also had Voldemort to deal with, so it's a toss-up," Neville finished.

"Shut it. So, two more Weasleys this year."

"Don't remind us," the oldest teachers said.

"They're twins. Last time we had Weasley twins," Filius started, letting himself shiver in remembrance. "Five Weasleys are in school right now."

"Victoire, Veronica, and Henry are Fifth Years and Nikki and Louis are First Years. Bill always had a level head, so his three kids shouldn't be a problem. It's Veronica and Henry you have to watch out for. They're Fred and George's kids," Hermione said

"Hey, I'm related to all of them. If anyone has it bad, it's me!" Charlie laughed.

"So, Draco, you've been quiet. How was your summer?" Minerva asked.

"It was okay. Mother's been a wreck since Father died, but I'm fine. I've just been wondering if it would be wrong to be happier now that he's dead."

"If he was as mean as I've heard, I'd be dancing on his grave," Hermione said. Everyone looked at her. "But that's just me." Everyone laughed, Draco included.

"I've thought about it," he admitted.

***

"So, Claire, how was your summer?" a blond haired girl named Stephanie asked. A brown haired girl looked up to her friend and flashed her shiny Prefects badge.

"Oh, shiny!" another girl, Steph, said. "I knew you'd get it."

"I can't believe we're Fifth Years," a sandy haired boy said.

"So, Jon, did you also get the coveted badge?" Steph asked.

"Yeah," the boy said, showing off the badge pinned to his robes.

"Nice. Did anything else happen this summer?" Brittany asked.

"My parents told me I was adopted," Claire said, fighting off tears. "I'm not really a Puckle."

"Oh, that bites. I'm sorry," Brittany said, putting a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Me, too," Jon said, reaching across the table to hold her hand. Steph looked at the entwined fingers, and both teens fully realized that they were holding hands, and blushed and let go.

"Now that we have some fresh start-of-term embarrassment, who are the Prefects for the other Houses? Who's the Head Boy and Girl?" Steph asked, trying to lighten the mood. Claire finished chewing her roasted chicken before answering.

"Victoire Weasley and Daniel Hawborne for Gryffindor, Elsa Crockford and Michael Westhrop for Hufflepuff, me and Jon are the Ravenclaw Prefects, and Julessa Kramsfeld and Stephan Bumbers for Slytherin," Claire said. "Maya Manivitch is the new Head Girl, and Teddy got Head Boy."

"The Metamorphamagus?" a chubby boy who sat nearby asked.

"Shut it, Mel. You aren't in this conversation," Jon said.

"So I have a bunch of friends who are Prefects and one who is Head Boy," Steph said mischievously.

"Don't even think about it, Steph," Claire said. "I'm not gonna protect you." Steph pouted and everyone else laughed.

Everyone continued to chat and eat until Minerva stood up and waited for the clatter to die out. "Would the prefects please escort the First Years to your dormitories? Thank you." The scraping of the benches was deafening. The teachers looked over the students to make sure there were no stragglers. Claire stood with her friends and looked up at the Professor's table. Hermione and Draco looked into her steel eyes then to each other, floored.

'_It can't be_,' they thought.

"Hermione? Draco?" Charlie called.

"What?" Hermione said.

"A couple of us are getting coffee in the staff room. Coming?"

"Oh, yeah," Draco said. "We're coming."

***

"Little Frank's so excited. He wants a baby brother to play with," Neville said.

"That's so cute," Hermione said. "So, missing the dragons yet, Charlie?"

"Not yet, but ask me again after lessons tomorrow."

"Can do," Harry said with a laugh.

"So, we're not in the open," Neville started. Charlie shook his head. "What in Merlin's name happened between you and Ron?"

"Well, I fell out of love with him. I actually fell for someone else. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but not romantically. So, yeah, I didn't love him, so I stopped giving him any."

"I don't wanna know about my little brother's sex life," Charlie said spazing.

"Well, I'm not saying anything, so get over it. Where was I?" Hermione asked.

"You fell outta love with Ron, fell in love with someone else, and stopped shagging your husband. Or ex-husband? You were still married at the time," Draco said, counting it off with his fingers.

"Thanks. So since I wasn't putting out, he went to someone who would. Well, I found out and he had the nerve to serve me divorce papers! I should have divorced him!"

"Damn," Neville said.

"How'd you find out?" Draco asked.

"I was having dinner at Harry's one night-"

"Ooh!" Draco teased. Hermione threw a cushion at him, getting him square in the face. Everyone laughed as a few feathers flew out.

"And when I got home, he was there with _some other chick_."

"Uh-oh," Neville said.

"_Shagging _said chick."

"Oh, shit," Charlie said, biting a fist.

"_In our bed!_"

"He's a dead man," Draco said.

"So I started screaming at him, packed a bag and went back to Harry's for the night."

"I am genuinely surprised that Ron is still alive," Draco said. "Harry has quite the temper. Especially when someone he cares for is hurt."

"So when I got back the next day, he's gone and the papers are spread on the table. Oh, I chewed his arse out in court."

"Well, that is a bit different than what he told us," Charlie said.

"What's Ron's version?" Neville asked.

"He said, and I quote, 'I got back from a rough day at practice and looked around for Hermione, wondering what was for dinner. When I found her, she was fucking Harry-"

"WHAT!??" everyone yelled.

"Hold on, let me finish. Where was I? Oh yeah. 'She was fucking Harry on the kitchen counter. Then she started screaming, at me, grabbed a bag, and left with him. When I left for practice the next morning, she still wasn't home, so I left the divorce papers on the kitchen counter as payback.' Now you may scream," Charlie said with a bow.

"So _that's _why no one over there answered my letters!" Harry yelled.

"What a prick!" Neville shouted.

"Is he delusional?!" Draco yelled.

"Oh yes, because I screw by best friend, who is also my husband's best friend, when I know my husband is due home at any moment. Come on!" Hermione shouted.

"Oh, he said that when he asked her why as she was leaving, she said that he actually gives her some and is way better in bed," Charlie added.

"That's because he is," Hermione said, deadpan. Everyone looked at her. Neville turned his neck so fast he cracked a few vertebrae.

"What?!"

"Yeah, this one time, during the Horcrux Hunt-" Everyone caught onto the joke and began to laugh. "I mean, really, did you think I was serious?"

"You had me going for a minute," Neville said, rubbing his neck. "You said something about loving somebody else."

"I'm not in a position to disclose that information," Hermione said, lacing her fingers together.

"When was the divorce?" Draco asked.

"Beginning of May," Harry, Hermione, and Charlie replied.

"Did you ever get with your secret love?" Draco pushed on.

"Yes, in mid-June. And we've kept it a secret," Hermione responded.

"Then how do I know you're not making him up?"

"Think about it, Draco," Neville said. "It is Hermione we're talking about."

"True," Draco conceded.

"Thanks for believing that I am incapable of telling a lie," Hermione said sarcastically.

"Anytime," Neville said cheekily.

"I hate you."

"We love you, too," Draco said, getting everyone to laugh.

"You're awfully quiet, Harry," Charlie said.

"I'm tired of pressing Hermione for details about the divorce. I know everything already."

"I went to Harry for support. But could your family believe something so, gah!" Hermione said to Charlie, throwing her hands in the air to show her frustration.

"Fred and George didn't buy it. They called him out as the liar that he is. They couldn't believe that Harry and Hermione could do something that would hurt him so bad. Me and Bill couldn't really, either, but we wanted your side, so we held our opinion until one of us could ask you. Now I believe my brother is a rotten liar. Remind me to owl Bill."

"Remind me to send the twins chocolates," Hermione said with a chuckle.

_**A.N.: I'm (finally) back with another story! I was washing the dishes when BAM! Plot bunny attack! I haven't decided if the D/Hr pairing will be romantic or not, mostly because of my overwhelming obsession with Harmony. I'll get back to you on that…definitely Harmony.**_

_**Hold on tight, because this story is a roller coaster. I'm just writing as I go. Lots of drama, humor, and romance ahead, with a dash of angst. Yay angst! Haha. I'm just rolling with the punches on this one.**_

_**I'm not trying to bash Ron or the Weasleys, but I find the R/Hr ship to be idiotic. What was J. K. thinking?! All they did was fight and argue, argue and fight . . . **_

_**Bonus points to anyone who gets the reference to Claire's name!**_

_**Ta ta for now!**_

_**Patty**_

_**A.A.N.: This was my longest chapter to date! Mostly because I couldn't find a place to stop, but I don't normally write chapters so long. I aim for around a thousand words. I'm growing as a writer! Also, sorry for the long author's note. They're normally shorter, too.**_


	2. Chapter 2

1**Fate Has Other Plans**

Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe. J. K. Rowling does. She's so lucky.**

At breakfast the next morning, Minerva and Hermione were in deep conversation as Harry sat down, the last of the teachers to do so.

"Morning, sleepy head," Hermione greeted. Harry chugged down a cup of coffee before responding.

"Yeah, yeah. Morning to you, too," he said as the students began arriving.

"Ready for your first day?" Filius asked.

"No," Neville answered. "First Year Slytherins and Hufflepuffs first."

"Fifth Year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws," Hermione said.

"I have Third Year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs," Charlie said.

"Free period," Draco said.

"Lucky. I have Fourth Year Slytherins and Gryffindors," Harry said. "Putting them in a class where they learn to 'defend' themselves? I'm doomed."

"Stop being so hard on yourself," Hermione said. "I have Victoire, Henry, and Veronica in my class. This should be fun."

"Oodles and oodles," Charlie said. "Good luck," he added, receiving a glare from Hermione.

***

"Good morning class. I'm Professor Potter," Harry said. "Let me get roll, and we'll start." He called out the students, desperately trying to memorize names to faces. "Okay, no one skived. That's good.

"I'm here to teach you to defend yourselves first. Defense is a crucial aspect in fighting the Dark Arts. You can't fight off an attacker if you can't keep yourself safe. When I was younger than you are, Expelliarmus saved me from Voldemort. Since I'm assuming that everyone can Disarm, we'll begin by practicing Shield Charms. The incantation is _Protego _for those who don't know. Pair off into groups of no more than four and begin Disarming and Shielding. You can start now."

***

"Class dismissed," Hermione said. The students packed their bags and ran off to their next class, but three redheaded students stayed behind. "Henry, Veronica, Victoire, hurry up or you'll be late for your next class."

"Can I ask you something, Aunt Hermione?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah, anything. What's up?"

"Why is Grandma mad at you and Uncle Harry? Dad said that Uncle Ron lied to everyone and said nasty stuff about the two of you, and then you got divorced," Victoire said. "He and Mum wouldn't tell me anything else because of Nikki and Louis."

"Oh . . . that's a long story. Stop by after dinner and I'll explain more. Now hurry up, you're late for your next class," Hermione said.

"C'mon guys, it's time for Uncle Charlie's class! I hope he's got a dragon!" Henry beamed. They hugged Hermione and ran out the door. Hermione shook her head at his antics and got ready for her next class, Seventh Years. '_Oh joy_.'

***

"So, Claire, what did you think of Transfiguration?" Jon asked as they walked to History of Magic. "I thought it was fun."

"It was. I can't wait until we start human transfiguration," Steph said.

"We won't be doing things like that until NEWT level, Steph. Where did you get that idea?" Jon asked.

"I read it in David's book. Remember, he's a Seventh Year," Steph said. "So, Claire, did you like Transfiguration?"

"Yeah. It was interesting."

"Something wrong?" Brittany asked.

"We have Binns' class next. I'm not looking forward to it. Why did we stay in that class?"

"It's required through OWLs, that's why. C'mon, it can't be that bad," Jon said.

"Yes it can," Steph groaned as Professor Binns, the only ghost ever to teach at Hogwarts, called them inside the classroom with a monotone voice.

***

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Dinner was especially loud as everyone shared their experiences in their classes, professors included. Jon and Steph told everyone about their Transfiguration lesson and the joke about turning David into a squirrel.

"You're still on that? Don't make me turn _you _into a squirrel," was his response after he caught his breath from laughing.

***

"Hermione, you alright?" Neville asked, concerned. She was quiet, even by her standards.

"What?"

"Are you alright?" Minerva asked. "You were zoning out a bit there."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Rough morning," Hermione brushed off.

"How so?" Harry asked.

"Can we not talk about it right now? I have to get up to my classroom. Veronica, Henry, and Victoire wanted to talk to me."

"Oh," Charlie said. "Henry asked when I was bringing in a dragon."

"Well, who better to ask then the former dragon handler?" Draco said.

"True," Filius agreed. "What did you tell him?"

"Seventh Year," Charlie said. Hermione finished her dinner and left for her classroom to wait for the Weasleys. About ten minutes after she sat at her desk, they arrived.

"Okay, what do you want to know?" Hermione asked.

"What is the real reason you and Uncle Ron got a divorce?" Veronica asked.

"Dad only told me that he said some rubbish about you and Uncle Harry," Victoire said.

"And that none of what Uncle Ron said was the truth," Henry continued.

"We want the truth," Victoire said.

"We want your side of the story. We know that you wouldn't lie," Veronica finished.

"Well, your Uncle Ron and I stopped loving each other like we should. Yes, I still love him, but I'm not in love with him. I've known him and Harry since I was younger than you. I just love someone else. I'm going to be blunt with you because I think you can handle it. Your uncle had an affair because I didn't love him, so we got a divorce," Hermione said.

"Merlin!" Veronica cried. "How'd you find out?"

"I caught him. I got mad, so I packed a bag and went to Harry's for the night."

"What did Uncle Ron say happened?" Henry asked.

"He said that Harry and I had an affair and caught us, so I got all mad and left with Harry, and he divorced me."

"That's barbaric!" Victoire shouted. "I've been over at Uncle Harry's a lot the past few months, hanging out with Teddy, so I'd know if something funny was going on with him."

"Victoire likes Teddy!" Henry teased.

"Do not! Leave me alone. You're so immature."

"We already know Henry's immature, Vic," Veronica said. "That's why he isn't a Prefect."

"Okay now, go up to your tower, it's getting late," Hermione stepped in.

"Okay Aunt Hermione. See you tomorrow!" Henry said as they shared their hugs goodbye.

***

Hermione was in the living room of her dormitory in the Faculty Wing, reading a book on the couch, when someone knocked at her door.

"Come in," she said, waving her wand at the door to open it. Harry stepped in and closed the door behind him.

"Can we talk now?" he asked, sitting next to her. Hermione closed the book and put it on the table. Harry took it as a signal to start. "How did your chat go?"

"Good. I gave them a slightly watered-down version of events, but I told them everything."

"Everything? Including-" Hermione leaned over and gave him a kiss.

"No, I didn't tell them about us. We agreed to keep it a secret, didn't we?" Harry gave her a kiss.

"Yes, we did. I wish we didn't have to, sometimes, but with everything that's going on-"

"Yeah, I feel the same. But if Ron found out that it was you I fell in love with, all hell would break loose," she said.

"But it would be worth it," Harry said, entrapping Hermione in a heated kiss. "Bedroom?"

"The door on the left," Hermione said as he picked her up and carried her.

_A.N.:There you go! Chapter 2 is done! This chapter was definitely shorter then the last one and it closed a few holes I left open, like Hermione's secret love(r). If you know anything about me, then you know I heart Harmony with a fiery burning passion. My favorite ship always was and will be Harry/Hermione. Jo must have had a momentary and irreversible lapse of judgement or something when she made the pairings. AU: when you just have to say screw canon! Harry and Ginny barely know each other, and Ron and Hermione always fight. She's just lucky she was the one to deliver to the world the world of Harry Potter, or she'd be in big trouble. But that doesn't get her off the hook!_

_Sorry for that. I just get really fired up about shipping. But if you want a story with more Harmony action, check out my other story, _A NotSoHappy Return._ It's full of Harmony with some Ron-bashing._

_Until Chapter 3,_

_Patty_


	3. Chapter 3

1**Fate Has Other Plans**

Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Things I Don't Own: a car, my Anatomy textbook, Mark Salling, the Oscar Mayer Bologna Song, a Prada handbag, a summer home in Malibu, Harry Potter, a llama.**

Dinner on Friday was loud. Everyone was talking about surviving the first week of term or what they were going to do that weekend or the homework they were assigned, in addition to the usual dinner chatter. The teachers were not exempt from that behavior.

"So we're going to the Three Broomsticks after this?" Hermione clarified.

"Yup," Neville said.

"You, me, Neville, Draco, Charlie, and a bottle of Odgen's," Harry said.

"Fred and George might show," Charlie added. "They just have this way of knowing things."

"With the two of them fixing up the Hogsmead branch of WWW, they'd be bound to know," Neville said.

"I'm in," Hermione said. They ate dinner full of anticipation of their upcoming evening. After they finished eating, they went to their dorms to change out of their robes. As Hermione was walking to the Great Hall, Draco pulled her aside.

"I need to talk to you," he said, opening a door to an unused classroom. Hermione walked in and Draco followed, closing the door behind him. "She's here. At Hogwarts."

"I know. What the hell do we do?"

"How am I supposed to know? What do you think we should do?"

"I don't know. They don't exactly write books on the subject," Hermione said as Harry opened the door.

"Come on you guys, we're about to go," Harry said.

"For your information, we were talking about some highly sensitive-" Draco started.

"He knows, Draco."

"What do you mean?"

"He was there!" Hermione said. "Or did you forget?"

"I could never forget it, Hermione," Draco said.

"Listen. We don't have the time to talk about this right now. Nev and Charlie are waiting down at the bar already," Harry said. Draco walked off and Hermione took Harry's hand as they made their way to the Three Broomsticks.

Neville, Charlie, and the twins were downing shots of firewhiskey when Harry, Hermione, and Draco walked in. Fred waved them over to the booth and poured three more shots for the newcomers. 'Warm-ups' he called them. Hermione looked worried.

"I'm not planning on getting totally sloshed," she said. "Don't you remember what happened last time I got wasted?"

"On Harry's birthday?" Neville said. "Yeah, that was funny."

"What happened?" Charlie asked.

"Well, little miss Granger over there-" Fred started.

"I think we're good," Hermione interrupted.

"But now we have to finish the story!"

"I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah," Fred waved off. "So Hermione was drunk as fuck, I mean, she must have downed an entire bottle of firewhiskey by herself."

"Wow," Charlie said. "What did she do?"

"Well, she must have forgotten that people were watching, because she pushed Harry into a chair and proceeded to give him a lap dance," George finished. Hermione was blushing furiously, Neville and Draco were laughing, Fred could barely keep a straight face, and Harry just took another drink. Everyone did a double take at Harry's calmness.

"What? I rather enjoyed it," he said, making Hermione blush even deeper, if possible.

"I had no idea that Hermione could be so bad," Draco laughed.

"Imagine actually being there!" Neville said. "Luna's only reaction was that it was about time that one of them made a move."

"Your wife thinks that Harry and Hermione belong together?!" Charlie said.

"Funny thing about that," Harry mused.

"What's so funny? You aren't actually . . . oh shit!" Draco said.

"What?" Fred asked.

"They are together!" Draco said.

"Tell anyone, and I swear I'll-" Hermione threatened.

"Give us a lap dance?" George teased.

"Don't make me have to kill you now," she said.

"Harry?" Charlie asked.

"Mid-June," was his only reply.

"Can we change topics? Please?" Hermione pleaded. An hour later, they were talking about the first time they got smashed.

"So my best friend, Damien, locked me in a cage with a Norwegian Ridgeback," Charlie said. "Luckily, he let me out before Norberta woke up."

"Wow, that's crazy," Neville said. "Who hasn't shared their story yet? Hermione!"

"Urg. You're horrible. I don't remember it too much, but I hooked up with someone I didn't want to and haven't been able to forget it. Thanks for bringing it up," she said.

"Anytime. So who was the guy? Our baby brother?" Fred asked.

"No, thank Merlin. And it wasn't Harry either, so don't even bother asking."

"Don't get so uptight," George teased, finishing the last of the firewhiskey. "I'm gonna get another bottle," he added as he went up to the bar.

"He drank half of that himself!" Hermione cried.

"Leave him, he's having fun," Draco said. Hermione gave him a pointed look, but dropped it. George came back with another bottle of Odgen's and poured everyone a generous glass.

"To the birth of a tradition," Harry said, raising his glass. The group repeated Harry's toast and drank. Then they decided to play 'I've Never'.

"I've never gotten a girl pregnant," Charlie started. Only he, Harry, and Hermione didn't drink.

"You have a kid?" Neville asked Draco.

"I don't know her. We gave her up for adoption," Draco said. "Next person?"

"I've never had sex with a married person," Harry said. He was the only one not to drink.

"I've never given anyone a lap dance," Fred said, teasingly. Hermione drank, then stared daggers at him.

"I've never gotten a Quidditch injury," Hermione said. Only she and Neville didn't drink.

"I've never gotten more than a hundred percent on a test," George said.

"Is it 'Get Hermione Drunk Night' or something?" she asked as she downed more of her drink.

"I've never had sex with handcuffs involved somehow," Neville said. Harry, Hermione, Draco, Charlie, and George drank.

"I've never done it in the kitchen," Draco said. Only he didn't drink.

"You have to be kidding me! Kitchen sex is fun," Hermione said.

"I'll have to try it sometime," Draco said.

"I've never done two girls at once," Neville said. Draco and Charlie drank.

"You've been bad," Fred said to Charlie.

"And?" Charlie said. "I've never done it in a public place."

Nearly two hours, intimate details of everyone's sex lives, and a third bottle of firewhiskey later, everyone disbanded for the night.

_A.N.: Okay, this is a filler/fluff chapter. There are some important bits that will come into play later on, but I just needed to focus on the adults for a little while. Get that out of my system. I've decided to aim for around a thousand words a chapter as a guide. You may get more words if I'm in a good mood or can't find a good break point, but at least you get a decent chunk of fanfic. The next chapter will bring back the student action, because we miss them. You might even get some Teddy, because he is awesome and I regret not finding a place for him sooner. But it's only chapter 3, so there's time. I honestly have no idea how long this'll be, but I have a lot of plot ideas in my mind. Endings aren't my strong point. I haven't finished a story yet except for _Ardency _and _Infelicity_ (because they're drabbles). I'll get back to you. You people are awesome!_

_I heart my readers!_

_Patty_


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